Descrimination of Girls Who Wear Hijabs.

This blog has seriously lacked update. I think there are some drafts before this. I'm gonna try to finish those.

Right, to start things off, let me start with describing my previous self...

I was 10 when I got my period. That was around 4 years ago. Whoah, I've just realised how long I've been menstruating... o.o 

I had short hair. My body is still the same as it is now. I wore normal T-Shirts or blouses with a pair of jeans, khakis or black pants - all of which were never revealing. I never really revealed the whole length of my legs. Given the body that I have. The shortest pair of pants that I've ever worn were 3/4's which were my bowling pants. For my tops, I've never worn sleeveless, spaghetti straps, wide-necked shirts etc 'cause I had blemishes on my body. Basically, I had a lot of myself to hide back then. You might imagine me dressed up as a guy.

I go to school wearing a baju kurung, never worn a pinafore since standard 5. I always wore this turquoise hairband. I wasn't generally accepted with the minority group of Muslim girls. They think of me probably as the one who mingles around freely with boys. I do, actually. But back then, I never had a boyfriend. Heck, I still don't have a boyfriend now. I do get my way with boys. I can communicate with them quite brilliantly 'till now. So then, I only mixed around with the Malay people in my class most of the time. And other chinese and indian friends.

In religious classes at school, I have been taught and told numerous times, why and how I should cover myself up. And the consequences that I will face in hell if I don't. I even got taunts from friends from the class and the teachers itself. Not to mention family members. I've been turning a blind eye - since standard 5.


As for my religious aspects, yes I was still up to it. I fasted, I read the Qoran, I did my prayes (not 5 times a day, completely), I did not do Zina, I never drank, did drugs and such. Overall, I was a good friend, cousin, niece, granddaughter, and daughter.

Then last year went to a fun religious talk that was at a mosque in KL - 50 bucks. And then I went to a religious camp hosted by my school - 50 bucks. On that same year, before Ramadhan begun, I covered my aurat. So by paying 100 bucks, I got closer to Allah. Most people wont pay anything higher than 10 bucks for religious related stuff.  Anything religious that is more than 10 bucks is considered as 'expensive'. On the other hand, buying a pair of shoes, some CD's or clothes totaling up to 100+ bucks is considered cheap. MasyaAllah.

Now I am comfortable. Although Heaven is not guaranteed for me, at least I am doing a favour of lessening the sins of my father and... well the whole of mankind. I hate how people descriminate females who wear the hijab. Guys don't even look at us twice. They'd rather add their sins up by staring at a girl whose ass or breasts are hanging out of their clothes.

The first day I was wearing my hijab at school, people just stared at me like I'm some alien. Then they asked me questions and acted around me like I'm some pious freak. I'm not a pious freak for one thing. From the first day I wore my hijab, 'till this day, not one bit of me has changed. I lost a few friends and gained a few friends in the process. I don't mind that. When you ignore me, I try to talk to you, try to mend our relationship. If you still ignore me after that, it's okay. My life's not gonna end. You ignore me for no good reason, up to you. I'm doing fine over here in SunnyVille.

I hate it when people look down on other people. I hate it even more if that person is doing that to me. I am a very expressive, cheerful, talkative and loud person. I have my ideas and theories, my talents and my flaws. I might not have the brawn's, but I'm alright with who I am. I speak very good English. When I speak English, they're like, wow, you're good. Dude, c'mon. When you're with me, you leave all the stereotypes you know behind. If you use it against me, I'm gonna tell you off.


People should stop being so narrow-minded and open up a little bit. Take some chances. It's bad enough that we don't get the same amount of attention from various people. We don't need people discriminating us any further.

Attitude, my pet peeves, a promotion, and exams.

As I am sitting here, I would never expect myself to listen to Selena Gomez. Currently addicted to Love You Like a Love Song, aside from the fact that the chorus is ridiculous. She also sucks live. That sucks...

I put on some nail cuticle lotion, lighted up an Apricot Mango scented candle right beside me, wore a tinted lip balm. Now I feel like I'm ready for a long awaited post. Although I think nobody reads my blog anymore but what the heck.

To start things off, tomorrow is Report Card day. Unlike my other classmates, I prefer to attend the occasion to listen to what the teacher has to say about me. I don't care getting yelled or yapped at my Mom in the car on the way back to the house. I deserve it. People should deserve their punishment other than avoiding it. When you avoid it, you'll keep on doing the mistakes/habits. I must admit, I have been slacking off. You won't believe it. I don't believe it myself. I found out that Pritykaa has the same problem too.

But she doesn't need to worry too much. Her grades are better than mine. On a side note, from becoming a regular Librarian with no post, I now have been promoted to a secretary of the whole Library Board of Directors. I guess my wish has been granted (Alhamdulillah) after doing ALOT of favours for the library and saying that if I don't get a post or get credit for the things I did I would quit (but ofcourse I didn't mean it)
I am also an assistant class monitor. To sum it all up, I'll get a lot of co-curricular marks, enough to cover up for my 0 attendance for house practice.

I have not expressed my new love for Big Time Rush.Well, I am in love with Big Time Rush. I watch their show in Nick every Monday to Wednesdays @ 5 in the evening. I only get to catch it on Tuesdays tho, 'cause I have tuition on Monday and Wednesday. I listen to their songs everyday and love every single song and all the members of the band. Especially Kendall. Woot~ I even sent them a fan mail. I typed it on my typewriter. Hahahaha. I even sent one to My Chemical Romance. 

So, I used to have 2 maids in this house of 14 people, but one decided to quit all because of the other maid whose name I will not state here. Okay, we'll name the maid who left as Maid A and the one who stayed as Maid B.

I honestly preferred Maid A than Maid B. Why? 'Cause I think that maid B has some mental issues. She fights with Maid A for the silliest reasons. And I guess that night was the last straw for Maid A, therefore she left that very same night. And since then, mostly my Mom, grandmother and I have been sharing jobs with her. Well, basically I'm new to the job. I water the plants, I hang clothes and wash the dishes and clean the cats and arrange shoes.

Things have been tough since the renovations begun early March. The house looks like a shipwreck and it's been driving my dear, aching and old grandmother up the wall. Especially with Maid B. Let's put it this way, Maid B works slower than my grandmother. She talks to you but in Indonesian and mutters a lot of stuff. And that pisses me the f*ck off cause I tend to want to know what people talk about. But when it comes to her, I just can't.

When we're busy with stuff in the kitchen cooking of cleaning up outside letting the sweat drip off our foreheads, she's sitting in her room, sitting her ass down on the chair and irons the clothes. She does it so slowly that It takes her DAYS to finish a basket. It's ridiculous. And the fact that she stirs up lost of problems with Maid A makes me hate her more. If I was her boss, I'd fire her ass. And set her ass on fire too.

Se I've never hated and older person. I shouldn't. But I don't know why I hate her. SHE ANNOYS THE FUCKING HELL OUT OF ME. With her muttering and giggling to herself. IT'S SO WEIRD. She walks DAMN slow. Even when she walks in front of the TV. Live everybody does it. Even my grandmother does it. You bend down when you pass the TV when somebody watches it. As for Maid B, her body is as straight as hell and she;s just strutting her ass past the TV.

I don't know what the hell is her problem. From what I've heard, she got married 14 times. Maybe that's why. I know I should be working harder than her but hey, she ain't schoolin' no more. I got exams coming up so I can't stay downstairs a lot and water the plants twice a day. I have had it up to my forehead with this lady.

She becomes more of a lazy ass since my grandmother and Dad has been outstation to Kelantan. Oh, this happened just now. I entered the 2nd living room of the house and had a strong whiff of cat shit sitting somewhere in the room. He inhabitants of the room was Adri and Maid B. Since they're knocking down the walls of my room, Maid B has to stay in the 2nd living room. My Mom, Yasmin and I was there and we went to look for the cat shit that was somewhere in the room. We asked her if she looked for it. She said she did - all over the room with Adri but couldn't find it. And then? You stop. Oh bitch puhleeeze. So my Mom, Yasmin and I were like dogs sniffin around the room looking for the cat shit in the room.

And what is she doing? She's still siting her ass down on the chair ironing. Like, my little brother can do that. My mom asked, "Kenapa tak cari sampai dapat?" and she said "Ngak ada masa!"
Excuse me bitch? That's your excuse? Hoooooi, that was the last straw for me. I cursed at her in English. I know, it's so bad of me. I beristighfar right after that.  So we eventually found the cat shit, all runny and already infested by flies on the couch - the place we least expected it to be.


So there you go.
Goodbye.

All The Attention

To what extent would you go to just to get noticed? Would you show the world by the permanent words and pictures etched on your body? Would you endure pain with sharp pieces of metal pierced through your skin and later endure mockery by the people around you? Or is it the was you dress? Dressing just to fit into the right crowd.

Or maybe your behaviour and doings that you do just to stay amongst those people?

People nowadays don't really wanna be themselves. They're always gonna be like somebody to please somebody else. You gotta understand that you are you and nobody is like you. Why can't you just love yourself and live with your own uniqueness?

To be completely frank, I thought of ditching my hijab whenever I get the chance to go to see Big Time Rush ( if they come around ) or when I go overseas. I think to myself, Oh, they're not gonna talk to this girl who covers her head... She looks completely rediculous and tortured! She's not hot and attractive at all.

This clearly shows that my Iman is still all over the place. But when I sat in complete isolation, I went into deep thought of what punishment I will be given when I'm in Hell. Other than getting my breasts pierced by flaming hot hooks and hung to the ceiling by fiery chains till my feet get lifted off the ground - the same way how my hair and head will be done - 'till my brain melts and comes to a boil.

Such fun, eh?

Sorry if I scared you there, reader. Didn't mean to. Just had to remind myself... Don't leave just yet! But I still had thoughts of wanting to just one day, ditch my hijab and leave it back home and just walk out on the streets ( not in Malaysia, tho. Thought of someplace else where nobody has seen be before ). I'mma wear my bleached dark hair down, wear a chest-baring shirt and skin tight jeans and just strut my ass down that street. I plan to just see how many people will take a look or maybe start flirting.

Then I would compare to when I walk out on the streets in my normal modest clothes and hijab.

COMPLETELY DIFFERENT REACTION. Not that I've ever done this before but I would totally expect this kind of response and I know I will get this kind of response.

Some people, including myself, notices a person. If that person happens to be hot, we get attracted. That's nature, my friends. A same trait in all humans. We get attracted to good-looking things. Be it shelter, food or a mate.

Whereas the normal, or say ugly looking people... well let's just say that we don't look at them at all now do we? And to those unattractive people ( refers to self ) should not, by any extent make themselves look more unattractive.

 Just... dress approriate for your size, okay?

Right.

Love is great. Love is beautiful. Love has no limits.

Chris Medina is a wonderful guy. That's all I can say.

*runs off crying like crap*

Not going to school tomorrow?

HELLOOO!
See? My posting frequency has improved! Huzzah!
I would only limit myself around 2-3 posts per week. That sounds frequent enough right?

Well, today, I woke up @ 9 o'clock. Showered and made my own breakfast.
Then, studied Karangan Bahasa Malaysia,  for a while. It is official, my average attentions span is around 10-20 minutes. That's bad. I need to cram in topic dari Form 1 sampai Form 3. DAH LA AKU NI PELUPA! Macam orang tua nyanyok T.T

But my method of studying is to study topic form 1 & 2 lebih. Haaa ;D
But not Maths. 'Cause everything in that subject is related.

I fucken hate Maths.

Then, my Dad asked me to follow him to go to a relatives massage center. While he did some therapy massage, I was (sort of) forced to undergo a Urutan Minda...

It was nice, AND PAINFUL.

After that, we went home. I did my Zuhur prayer then went to Empire Shopping Gallery.

Bought a head wear from Tangs for RM30.00

IT's SO PURDDY! And I've been looking for it for a while now.

I noticed a staff at Paintball. The lady's name was Mayang and she wore this multipurpose head scarf. You can look around here.

I'm happy to own one of these multipurpose head-scarves. Now I can wear them to a game of paintball. Kalau tak, pakai tudung belit or tudung express, panas tak terhingga. Fuhh.

Well, tomorrow is Canteen Day in SMK Taman S.E.A. I'm not really looking forward for it, but I still have to be on duty.

Well, that's all for now, goodbye!

OHMAIGOD.

YA RASUL YA RABBI YA KARIM! 
SAYA MINTA MAAF SANGAT-SANGAT KERANA SAYA MENGABAIKAN BLOG INI.


I have really been a lazy ass motherfucker.
This year, I have PMR. In August. And apparently, that fact still has not sunken into my brain. I'm still not in studious mode. Which is bad, at this point.

Nothing much has been happening. Nothing interesting. Probably you buggers aren't even bothered to check my blog anymore. But that's okay, I completely understand. But I will not delete this at any extent, tho. Because I have 500+ posts!

KEZZAM!

I'll just list it in bullet form.

• I still don't have a boyfriend, hence, I am still single. Pccht, what do you care, right? so don't expect some mushy, lovey-dovey shit here. Also, I don't expect to be 'owned' at this age. It's completely inappropriate and can the timing get any worse?

 

• I am still not losing weight. Need I elaborate more?

 Idiots.

 

• I have not cut my hair. My hair as of now, is bleached, brushing my shoulders ( ain't that sexy? ) and can be tied into a cute little ponytail AND I have my very own bunjut! (so that I don't look too flat-headed wearing a hijab.
• I am 14 years and 4 months of age at this very date.
• My vocals are better. *hint hint* James Morrison. But still no covers of him.
• Started playing piano. Thought myself how to play it (awesome) and I am now playing less of guitar.
• I have zits on my face.
• I am a photographer for the school magazine.
• I am the 3 Angsana's class monitor's assistant.
• I am a Librarian at the same time. *dies*
• I want to be a Librarian B.O.D
• I might consider going to a boarding school so the above point might not happen.      
• I want to get 8A's
• I want to be a in Pure Science stream.
• I want to drive.
• I want to be a doctor.
• I want to have lots of $$$
• I want to be a good muslimah.
• I want to be a good daughter.

Lastly, I...

 

 

Need to sleep. 'Till next time!

kthxbai.